Female foster couple from Cheshire share ‘huge joy’ of foster care journey

Cheshire-based couple Debby and Sandra, together for 20 years, had long shared a dream to become foster carers, but thought it was unlikely their application would be accepted due to being a same-sex couple.

Unable to let go of the idea, and eager to provide a warm, fun, loving, nurturing home to vulnerable children, they finally took the plunge seven years ago and embarked on their foster care journey – and they haven’t looked back since! Debby and Sandra are currently foster parents to three siblings aged 7, 9 and 11, two boys and a girl – an experience that has surpassed their expectations and brought them “huge joy”.

Both Debby and Sandra had successful careers – Debby working in accounts for an estate agent and Sandra as a credit manager - and were settled in their home together when they pushed their reservations to one side and applied to become foster parents through Fostering Solutions North, part of National Fostering Group.

“From the start of the assessment process, our social worker was fantastic and made us feel comfortable and relaxed. The process was a lot more in-depth than we had anticipated, but we understood the reasons it had to be so thorough - the wellbeing of the children is at the heart of everything. The fact that we were both female turned out to be a non-issue – as long as you have the passion to give a loving, nurturing home to a vulnerable child, a spare room, financial stability, a good support network and the ability to do the appropriate training, then you have the key ingredients it takes to become a foster carer.”

Annie Winter, Head of Recruitment at National Fostering Group, said, “Some people still have fixed ideas about who can and can’t foster – research indicates that 33% of people believe those who are in a same-sex relationship are not able to foster. If you can offer a foster child a stable home then your sexuality does not matter. It is important that there is a wide range of foster carers available at any given time, with different experiences and skill sets, so that the right match can be made when a child is in need of care.”

Since welcoming the three siblings to their family two years ago, Debby and Sandra have watched them flourish – both at school and at home. With their love and support, the children have developed healthy routines and have become much more aware of things like social etiquette.

Debby explained, “A lot of little things add up and gradually start to make a real difference – we have seen their confidence soar and they have become much more relaxed and open. They can now express their hopes and dreams for the future and have started to believe that they can do anything they put their minds to. To have helped them realise this is a wonderful feeling.”

Debby and Sandra have fostered different children with different needs, including a young person whose traumatic childhood had created attachment issues. “Some days were hard and stressful, but we took each day at a time and on good days were rewarded with a genuine smile. You need to remind yourself why you went into fostering. You also need to remember that there is always a reason behind challenging behaviour - a hurt, scared child needs understanding, love and guidance.”

Debby added, “Training through our agency is ongoing and we have so many useful forms of support including regular meetups with other foster carers, monthly supervision visits from our social worker, and advice from experienced foster carers through the ‘Buddies’ or ‘Helping Hands’ system. And there’s always someone on the end of the phone if and when you need them – it’s like we’re part of one big family.”

And the best moments? “When the children first called our house ‘home’ was a very special moment and getting the first ‘proper’ big hug. And when they started talking positively about their futures– and their plans included us…There are so many other rewards like having a home full of laughter and children playing, watching each child achieve in their own way, and seeing them start to relax, feel safe and just be themselves. Knowing that we can help shape a child’s life is a privilege. They are not just learning from us, we are also learning from them.”

Their advice to others considering fostering is simple: “Don’t just think about it, go for it, make that call. If you go into fostering for the right reasons it will give you joy, laughter, possible tears, challenges, sleepless nights, knowledge, empathy and wonder. Make sure you have a good support network, don’t sweat the small things and start each day fresh and new. The joy we get from fostering is huge – it has surpassed our expectations!”

If you would like to make a similar difference to the lives of vulnerable children and young people in your local community by becoming a foster carer, visit www.fostercarers.com today and start your highly rewarding fostering adventure! 

About National Fostering Group

National Fostering Group - the largest independent fostering provider in the UK - is a collection of local, independent fostering agencies that works with every local authority in the UK to provide safe and nurturing environments for children in need.

National Fostering Group is part of Outcomes First Group, newly formed after NFA Group and Outcomes First Group united, is the UK’s leading provider of outcomes-led learning, life skills, and therapeutic care for children with complex needs including Social Emotional and Mental Health

About Fostering Solutions

Fostering Solutions is a leading independent fostering agency providing therapeutic and practical services to vulnerable children and young people across England and Wales. Rated ‘Outstanding’ or ‘Good with Outstanding elements’ across all its services, Fostering Solutions is committed to delivering excellence in quality and transformative experiences for the children and young people it supports. Together with the expertise and professionalism of its local support teams, it empowers foster carers to offer safe, stable and nurturing homes in order to give children and young people in its care the best outcomes in life.